wow

I know it has been so terribly long since I last wrote. Sometimes I dread writing, because I feel like my life isn't exciting right now.

But God I am sure would say my life is anything but dull. right now my life is filled with breaking me down, and building me up, in ways I never could imagined. once I think I have a constant in my life, like a friend to count on, or a set schedule, or something like that, God seems to flip it upside down, so I am never counting on "it" too much, and so I turn back to Him. He has been making it painfully hard for me not to seek after him daily. If I slack off for even a day I feel so Far from him.
I am so thankful that we have a god that looks after his children so well, and is willing to discipline us to help us to behave a little better. I know I have been trying to follow hard after him, but I feel like my life is monotonous that I try to switch things up or add more to it, but as soon as my schedule gets busy with one thing, I don't have enough time for the other.

For example, I try to make time to see friends throughout the week as much as I can, but then I feel like I am not get chores and other things done as much as I ought to. And once I start feeling like I am actually being diligent, I feel like I forget about friends, or don't have as much tiem I as I would like to spend with them. God has been helping me to be more diligent lately and I happy for my efforts, for the most part. Although, it has seemed like the past couple weeks have been a little bit difficult. I have not been able to get in touch with a lot of people that I would like to, or I have put too much hope in people and not the lord, and have been disappointed.

anyway, I feel like I am rambling quite a bit.

the point to my story is that I was so upset that I did not have very many appointments set up for this week for support, and I did not have a very good outlook. however, the rest of june seems like I will be so busy I won't have much time for anything else. in the midst of my wallowing though, I was trusting the lord to help me keep going, or at least trying to. and even as slow as the past three weeks have been I have had over $300 in monthly support come in!!!!
so praise the lord.... as a friend of mine recently said "He can move mountains!"