inarticulate

in⋅ar⋅tic⋅u⋅late 
–adjective
lacking the ability to express oneself, esp. in clear and effective speech


I feel like this is one of my favorite words lately. And really it describes me well. Many people may say I am a good pubic speaker, but if I don't memorize what I am going to say before I say it, I stumble and get nervous about being put on the spot. In normal conversation though, there are so many times I feel like I put my foot in my mouth, because I try to descibe something, but don't do it too well. well that's because I am inarticulate. It seems like I can never find the words that I want to say. Or I say something, but its not quite "right"

I feel like with Easter, and studying of the passover, Moses has come up a bit lately, and I am reminded of his inability of clear speech, or his studdering problem. I think this gives me hope that I don't have to be perfect when I talk, or worried about saying the right stuff, but God will and can help me to be effective, even when I don't trust in myself.

going, going, going

This past week has seemed so hectic to me, and I can't think of what I did that made it so hectic!!!

I think now that my parents are home, more of my time is spent helping out around the house, and just catching up with my mom here and there, and continuing doing everything in my schedule I was doing before my parents got back home.

I can't tell you how much of a difference it makes having people around during the day. I feel so fortunate. Before they got home, I was struggling a lot. I am not sure with what exactly, whether it was being alone almost all day every day, or the monotomy of raising support, or just a general feeling of uselessness. But I am thanking God that he has lifted my spirits, and is helping me continue to learn what it means to trust in Him, and Him alone.

My mom asked me recently about my blog, and I told her while I was in Thailand, it was interesting, a new adventure almost every day, but here I don't feel like my life is much out of the normal. there isn't much spectacular going on in my life, but I do feel like I should be keeping you updated on some of the enw stuff going on. So I will try to make an effort to update this more regularly.

Easter thoughts

So I never really know what to write. I have all these great ideas of things I could tell you, but I really am not a fan, deep down, or writing. It's hard to make myself take a moment and tell the world about my goings ons. unless there is no one to listen to me :-) no really.

Anyway, this past week we celebrated Easter. I felt like I should write something special and meaningful. As I was thinking about Christ dying on the cross for us, one thing popped up over and over and over again. Love. We need to love one another. That's what it was all about. God's love for us. By us demonstrating God's love to others, by loving them, we are giving them a glimpse of God. Easter seems like a time of sadness, reflecting on the cross, getting deep and personal. And also a time of rejoicing at the resurrection, that Christ rose from the dead, and offers us that same renewal.

But really, we should be rejoicing in Love, and Easter should almost be a day of service for us. Most of us spend Easter with family, ok I understand some people struggle to love their family, but really for the most of us, that is where we feel most secure. We know they already love us, we already love them, but really we should be loving on people that don't deserve our love. Christ gave himself up for all of us. All of us who are undeserving of love. we ought to give up a little of ourselves, our time, whatever, so that we can truely share that love with others.

Easter should not be just one day of the year that we rejoice in the cross, but really should make up our whole year in celebrating his death and resurrection. so yeah I don't get the whole bunny rabbits and egg thing. but I do understand the love.