Libya

So I have a new update about some of my Libyan friends. So there are 35 Libyan students all at MSU. They are a part of a special program designed just for them. They are sent here by their government to learn English, and politics, so they can return to their country and be diplomats and ambassadors. 6 of the 35 are women. I know 5 of them.

One of the women, I met briefly last year, but this year, I have found she hangs out in the same place during lunch time every day. She is 4 months pregnant and wants to see a doctor, but because of communication problems, and her own stubbornness, this has been quite a difficult process. So I have been helping her over the past couple weeks to call different offices and to figure out the details to help her make an appointment.

As I spend so much time with them, I know I am not sharing the Gospel verbally, but each day I am able to share the Gospel through my actions, and my patience and just in small ways as I help her and make friends with another girl that hangs out with her. I feel so privileged to be able to meet with them, and I keep praying that God will use me in their lives to show them the love of Christ, and that their lives would be changed by Him.

broken vessel

So last night, I faced a difficult night once again. I feel like I get to this point each night, where I am just down and out. Like nothing is right, and I don't know what's wrong. I realized last night I just needed to face the Lord with some of these things head on.

Even though it was 11pm, and I really wanted to just go to bed, I knew I had to just hash it out with the Lord. I feel like I had just been putting a band-aid on a gaping wound. I would spend time with God ( I've spent more time with God this semester than ever before), but at the end of the day, I still just felt empty/wrong... like something just wasn't right with me.

I've been better since I recognized I've been facing a bit of spiritual battle, and been fighting against Satan, but I realized I had some of my own personal demons I needed to deal with. As I started to work it out and journal about it, and get to the root of my problems, it was as if God was ripping the band-aid off my wound. It hurt, I was crying out to God, but I knew I needed to work through the matter, and not just seek someone or something to soothe me.

As I figured out exactly what my problem was, what the root of the issue was, it made sense. I kept feeling like I am the only one experiencing feelings like these, but then as I cleared up and pinpointed what was wrong, I realized I have heard story after story of others facing this same road. Some didn't figure it out until they were neck deep in a big mess that was about to suffocate them. I am just happy that God does love me and cares about me enough to help me to figure out what actually was causing this gaping wound in my soul, and then helped me to at least start stitching it up one little bit at a time.

I know I will continue to deal with this, and it's not unusual, many other women walk this same road as I. But the difference is what I turn to. Will I turn to the things of this world to make me feel better? Or will I open my heart to God and let him pour salt in my wound to help disinfect it, and cleanse it before it can heal?

Last night I chose God. and he showed me that I am a broken vessel. I am a jar of clay, easily breakable, and has many cracks already, but I am God's exact work of art. He has a purpose for each and every single one of those cracks, and will use me for His purposes. He doesn't need me, but He chooses to use me in a way infinitely more than what I can do on my own.

On my own, I would try and fill myself with water that keeps pouring through the cracks, getting me frustrated, and settling for stagnant junk floating on the top of whatever water is left in me. But God wants to fill me with His living water. A spring that will overflow, even though the water will pour through the cracks in my life, God will keep me filled, and continue to fill me if I let Him.

Praise be to Him. The author and perfecter of our faith.

new eating habits

So one thing I wanted to do this year was start eating healthy. Right after I returned back after my conference, my roommate announced she was going gluten-free again. She gets sick from it sometimes, and after a bad winter break, she decided she needed to cut the gluten out again.

My mom has cut almost all simple carbs and sugar (besides fruits) out of her diet. I'm not sure I could go quite that extreme but I know it's healthy. When I was sick, I stumbled upon a newsletter and some other healthy eating tips and guides. I was intrigued and thought about implementing some of these things into my own diet and some maybe slower than others.

Since all I could really eat when I was sick was juice and eggs, I thought it might be easy to make changes to my eating habits since I had a few days head start with no cookies, breads, sugars or other foods I get attached to. I knew it would be hard to cut all gluten and sugar out at the same time, so I thought I would start with gluten, with the help and support of my roommate and then possibly cut out sugar as well.

As I started though, I was still pretty congested from being sick, and milk products were making it worse, so I cut all dairy out too. Then I read about how dairy really isn't that good for you anyway, even the raw milk and such! Then I read about how soy and soy products are really bad for you. One lady suggested throwing out all processed foods in your house. Basically anything that has ingredients you can't pronounce. These mostly have high-fructose corn syrup or soy derivatives. I knew the dangers of high fructose corn syrup and she made a good point, that if your health is really worth it to you, then why not get rid of $10-25 of junk sitting in your cupboard. the $1 mac and cheese I hold on to really isn't worth it when you think of it as eating glorified plastic.

Plus I really wanted to make these changes really to help me to eat more vegetables. I like veggies, and I eat them all the time. I just don't like buying them ( they usually go bad) and cooking them ( I think it takes too much time, sometimes).

now that I don't have pretzels/chips, baked goods, and breads and pastas to fill up on, I fill up on veggies instead, and I know it's good for me, but I just needed a little help. So cutting gluten out, really helped me to make these changes. I might not keep gluten out of my diet forever, but just this semester at least to get used to snacking on healthier things and filling up on the good stuff, not the junk stuff, or whatever is "quick" and "easy"

sick at beginning of year

So my first weekend in January I had a conference in Dallas, TX. This was to help prepare me to co-lead a summer project in the Middle East this summer!!!! :-)

I was super excited when I found out about helping lead 5 weeks of reaching out to Muslims with a couple that are really awesome (on my staff team at MSU) and their 7 month old daughter. I got to fly with a Bridges friend of mine from MSU who is also helping lead a project overseas this summer. So it was nice not having to travel alone. Usually I go to all these conferences and travel alone, but our plane tickets were paid for, so it didn't matter which airline I had miles with or whatever, but we picked the most convenient, but not too expensive flight.

It was a very encouraging weekend and I got a lot out of it, but the last day of the conference I woke up not feeling so great, and as I started my day, decided I needed more rest. By noon I had a fever. I had to skip the rest of the seminars and training sessions. What made it worse was knowing the next day of travel home started at 6am and ended at 7pm. :-(

Dayquil and Ibuprofen we my best friends.

After my third day of fever all day, I went to the doctor's and they said I didn't have flu or a sinus infection, but some kind of infection. So much for a day off. I spent all day sick! Thursday I still wasn't up for more than walking from my kitchen to my bedroom. By friday afternoon I finally felt like the fever was going. 5 DAYS! I haven't had a fever for 5 days in a LONG time. but everyone was getting sick. At the conference, of every group leading a trip, at least one of the members got sick. Even when I got back, it seemed this illness spread through many not just on our campus, but many of my friends across the country seemed to get this same or a similar illness. yuck. what a way to start the year

Happy new year!

This year has definitely been a full one. I feel like I am ready for 2011. New places to go, people to meet, and lots of great opportunities are in store for me in the coming year.

Looking back, I feel blessed by so many things that have happened, how God has answered prayers, and helped me to see His hand clearly in some situations.

I just got back from a week in Nashville, TN. I had hoped to do more visiting of friends and family in Florida and Arkansas, but I and a couple of my teammates ended up driving 9 students down with us. It was a blast!!!! I wish I had gotten a chance to talk to the students a little more and engage with them a little better, but I was pretty busy during the conference.

I was a part of the program team, and this year our conference was set up a little different, so there wasn't a main meeting in the morning and evening, but the students separated into three different tracks. The Chinese Track, Multinations, and EMMO ( Emerging movements - for students that want to learn how to help out with Bridges)

So part of my job was stage director. I got to wear a headset and tell people when to get on and off stage, and be the communication between the back of the room with the audio and video stuff, and the stage and emcees. It was so much fun!!!!! I got to help problem solve at the last minute on a few different things, and help keep everything organized. One of my good friends was the program director, and so it was a lot of fun getting to work with her, and spend time together since she is far away in Boston, and I only see her once or twice a year.

I got to talk to a few students while I was at the conference, but the longest conversation I had was with an American student that was asking about my time I spent in Thailand, and what it looks like to intern with Crusade and and be on staff with Bridges. I felt like he really picked my brain a lot, and I had hoped I could talk to some of the international students more, but I think I was really able to help answer some nagging questions he had, and it definitely seemed like a conversation God orchestrated.

So now I am gearing up to start the semester, and then this weekend I will be in Dallas for some leadership training for the project I will be helping lead this summer!!!! So I am excited to get some warmer weather and possibly some sunshine!

This week I am also home alone at my apartment as I was over Christmas break. For the holidays I stayed at my brother's condo, but it has been a little hard to be by myself for so long. and I hope I won't get antsy this week being by myself before my roommate comes back. I do have a long list of things to get done, it's just nice having another person around to talk to while getting little things done, like taking down the Christmas tree, organizing my desk/office area, and general stuff like that.

I do feel very blessed that I have found a women's bible study to attend. I met one of the girls at the young adults group at my church and she invited me to join her and some others, and it was so nice! I felt like I fit right in and was immediately welcomed in. So now I am trying to get to know some of the girls a little better, and I am able to find time to just hang out with a few of them here and there. So hopefully this week, I will be able to get out of my apartment to hang out for a little bit.

I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!

I have absolutely LOVED pretty much every single day that I have been on campus. Each Day the Lord blesses me somehow, whether it's American students naturally forming friendships with the international students on their floor to show them the love of Christ, or international students saying they want to learn more about God, or even just new Christians going out in the dorms to share their faith with other international students!!!!

God is so good, and I feel so blessed by all that is going on!!!!

I will be sending out my monthly prayer letter soon, with some specific stories, but I hope to post some of the smaller stories more often ( I seem to always say that!!!)

Today I took a girl out driving. we went to a large church in the area to their parking lot and learned about turning, stopping, and parking. we went to a business next door and practiced where there were a few cars around to make things a little more interesting, but I don't think we'll go on the main roads at all, just the parking lots to learn a few basics, I'll leave the big stuff up to the professionals!!! but I definitely had my patience tried a lot today. for some reason she didn't quite get it it I said stop, I meant NOW and if I said turn I meant NOW. she definitely improved greatly, but still I think the language barrier was a little bit of a problem, or maybe she just isn't a good listener!

Thankfully we're still in one piece and had NO close calls!!! yay!

I am glad I can help serve her a little, and maybe be able to share the gospel with her next time. She kept saying "thank you for your patience" maybe next time I can share I can only be patient with her because God is patient with me!

uh oh!

Sorry I have kept all of you in the dark for so long!!!! I guess my life got a little bit crazy after May 2nd.

So most recent update.... I LOVE MY JOB!!!!! I get to meet people from all over the world, practice speaking Thai, make wonderful lifelong friends, and just have fun!

I just got back from saying goodbye to my Chinese friend who came to know the lord this past spring. I have gotten to see her for a few brief moments here and there since then, but saying goodbye was the hardest. I got to pray for her, and she said "God bless you" to me. I am excited because I didn't teach her that, but she is already meeting Christians and going to church without me even helping her. I have just been giving her encouragement. I am so excited for what god will do through that young lady!!!

Just before that we had an ice cream social. well we didn't. the university did, and we kind of crashed it to get to know some students, but it was ok that we were there. Earlier in the day I" realized I had my shirt I got this summer that says "treasuring Christ and making Him known..." on the back, and I thought maybe it's not a good idea to wear that tonight (since some people put up a stick when the "religious" groups show up) but we weren't recruiting people, just meeting them. but anyway, I had forgotten why I was going to change my shirt, and so left it on.

In the middle of a game of "human Bingo" (i.e. find someone who can speak more than 2 languages...find someone who has a younger brother...) a girl walk straight up to me and said "are you a missionary?" Since we don't broadcast that Bridges is actually a ministry - students know we are Christians, but we don't go around saying we are missionaries, I was a little taken aback, but realized if this girl knew what and who missionaries were, and asked me straight up I would answer her straight up. I said yes and she then asked if I knew a good church in the area!!!! I was then glad for my earlier answer and gave her the name of a church I really like that meets on campus.

Later I ended up meeting pretty much the only girl undergraduate student from Thailand.. and guess what?!?!? she became a Christian about a year ago!!!! for a Thai person to change religions, it is a HUGE thing!!!! so not only can I practice Thai with her, but I can encourage her about her faith!

So going back to this afternoon, we had some students that had filled out some surveys we had at the resource fair we had monday and we going back to the students rooms to invite them to come to our welcome party on friday night. Not many people were home, but some of them I got to meet their roommates and one girl said she even wants to cancel her travel plans to Pittsburg so she can come to our party!!!!! I LOVE international students! They are so genuine and real, and just excited to meet Americans! Because classes haven't started and the American students haven't moved in on campus yet, any American that these students meet are like their new best friend!

One girl thought I was a student and was asking me if what she was wearing was ok. she had cross earrings on and I had asked her about it, so I am excited to go back sometime to explain a little more about what is so significant about the cross. :-) I love God! he moves in some crazy ways!

So I am in an interesting place right now. My roommate hasn't quite moved in, and I am in a new apartment. I like having time to myself, and it's so quiet, but I also get lonely too. I feel a lot of freedom though to just get on the floor and start praying anytime I remember some prayer requests ( and I don't need to worry about people walking and wondering why I'm in the middle of the floor!) I also don't get distracted too easily, and so I have been spending me free time at night lately digging into the word.

Our staff team started meeting last monday to start planning for this semester. We will be studying the book of John, and I'm excited to be going through it and get some new insights from it. John and Mark are my two favorite gospels, and I feel like I can never study them enough... actually, the more I study the bible, the more I am ok with studying the same book over and over, I get new stuff every time. In my own time, when I'm not in John, I'm also looking at Ephesians.

We studied Ephesians this summer while I was in Wildwood, NJ and I forgot how much I like the book. Chapter 3:16-21 are some of my favorite verses that have been keeping me company for the past year or so, and so now I really want to dive into the rest a little more.

Well I think that's all for now. hopefully more to come soon, but the beginning of the semester is crazy so I hear, but I'm glad I have one semester under my belt already so I kind of feel like I know what I'm doing!