Blue Jays

So here's the deal. I am always thinking of new things to put in my blog, and I think I just have such a boring life right now. In fact the best thing I could come up with in the past week was one day I thought "ooo I could blog something about how I almost hit two animals today while driving, and that almost never happens!!!" yeah, you are probably glad I didn't blog about that after all :-P but really not much new here. I am glad it's warm enough to finally go swimming in our lake, in fact, the past couple days have heated up so fast, the lake is barely even refreshing! but otherwise, I am enjoying the middle of the afternoon swims to refresh a little.

There is another cool thing that I have been enjoying lately. we have some blue jays nesting in a tree right off of our deck, and we can see them flitting back and forth and whatnot all the time. most recently the babies hatched, and now the parents are always feeding them. here are a couple shots I got. I am hoping to put up some more photos of the babies soon!

Papa mama feeding the chicks

wow

I know it has been so terribly long since I last wrote. Sometimes I dread writing, because I feel like my life isn't exciting right now.

But God I am sure would say my life is anything but dull. right now my life is filled with breaking me down, and building me up, in ways I never could imagined. once I think I have a constant in my life, like a friend to count on, or a set schedule, or something like that, God seems to flip it upside down, so I am never counting on "it" too much, and so I turn back to Him. He has been making it painfully hard for me not to seek after him daily. If I slack off for even a day I feel so Far from him.
I am so thankful that we have a god that looks after his children so well, and is willing to discipline us to help us to behave a little better. I know I have been trying to follow hard after him, but I feel like my life is monotonous that I try to switch things up or add more to it, but as soon as my schedule gets busy with one thing, I don't have enough time for the other.

For example, I try to make time to see friends throughout the week as much as I can, but then I feel like I am not get chores and other things done as much as I ought to. And once I start feeling like I am actually being diligent, I feel like I forget about friends, or don't have as much tiem I as I would like to spend with them. God has been helping me to be more diligent lately and I happy for my efforts, for the most part. Although, it has seemed like the past couple weeks have been a little bit difficult. I have not been able to get in touch with a lot of people that I would like to, or I have put too much hope in people and not the lord, and have been disappointed.

anyway, I feel like I am rambling quite a bit.

the point to my story is that I was so upset that I did not have very many appointments set up for this week for support, and I did not have a very good outlook. however, the rest of june seems like I will be so busy I won't have much time for anything else. in the midst of my wallowing though, I was trusting the lord to help me keep going, or at least trying to. and even as slow as the past three weeks have been I have had over $300 in monthly support come in!!!!
so praise the lord.... as a friend of mine recently said "He can move mountains!"

ugggghhh!!!!!

so I am basically feeling like that. UGH!!!! I look and my support stuff, and wish there was more that I could be doing. I wish somedays that I did just work a plain and simple 9-5 job, and not have to worry about raising support. but then I realize I would probably be worrying about something else going on at work, or complaining about something else.

It just goes to show that whatever you are doing, you will always find something to not be happy about. I know it is probably because of the original Fall. the work would be tedious and difficult, but then I also know that there is so much going on, so much more at work here. Satan does not want me to do this job. He would be perfectly happy with me being in some "regular job" effecting only a small sphere of people around me. and I know God is teaching me so much by depending on him. I just wish I could see the end, or be looking back from the end seeing the fruits of all my efforts.

Please be praying for me that God would help bring in my support quickly!

inarticulate

in⋅ar⋅tic⋅u⋅late 
–adjective
lacking the ability to express oneself, esp. in clear and effective speech


I feel like this is one of my favorite words lately. And really it describes me well. Many people may say I am a good pubic speaker, but if I don't memorize what I am going to say before I say it, I stumble and get nervous about being put on the spot. In normal conversation though, there are so many times I feel like I put my foot in my mouth, because I try to descibe something, but don't do it too well. well that's because I am inarticulate. It seems like I can never find the words that I want to say. Or I say something, but its not quite "right"

I feel like with Easter, and studying of the passover, Moses has come up a bit lately, and I am reminded of his inability of clear speech, or his studdering problem. I think this gives me hope that I don't have to be perfect when I talk, or worried about saying the right stuff, but God will and can help me to be effective, even when I don't trust in myself.

going, going, going

This past week has seemed so hectic to me, and I can't think of what I did that made it so hectic!!!

I think now that my parents are home, more of my time is spent helping out around the house, and just catching up with my mom here and there, and continuing doing everything in my schedule I was doing before my parents got back home.

I can't tell you how much of a difference it makes having people around during the day. I feel so fortunate. Before they got home, I was struggling a lot. I am not sure with what exactly, whether it was being alone almost all day every day, or the monotomy of raising support, or just a general feeling of uselessness. But I am thanking God that he has lifted my spirits, and is helping me continue to learn what it means to trust in Him, and Him alone.

My mom asked me recently about my blog, and I told her while I was in Thailand, it was interesting, a new adventure almost every day, but here I don't feel like my life is much out of the normal. there isn't much spectacular going on in my life, but I do feel like I should be keeping you updated on some of the enw stuff going on. So I will try to make an effort to update this more regularly.

Easter thoughts

So I never really know what to write. I have all these great ideas of things I could tell you, but I really am not a fan, deep down, or writing. It's hard to make myself take a moment and tell the world about my goings ons. unless there is no one to listen to me :-) no really.

Anyway, this past week we celebrated Easter. I felt like I should write something special and meaningful. As I was thinking about Christ dying on the cross for us, one thing popped up over and over and over again. Love. We need to love one another. That's what it was all about. God's love for us. By us demonstrating God's love to others, by loving them, we are giving them a glimpse of God. Easter seems like a time of sadness, reflecting on the cross, getting deep and personal. And also a time of rejoicing at the resurrection, that Christ rose from the dead, and offers us that same renewal.

But really, we should be rejoicing in Love, and Easter should almost be a day of service for us. Most of us spend Easter with family, ok I understand some people struggle to love their family, but really for the most of us, that is where we feel most secure. We know they already love us, we already love them, but really we should be loving on people that don't deserve our love. Christ gave himself up for all of us. All of us who are undeserving of love. we ought to give up a little of ourselves, our time, whatever, so that we can truely share that love with others.

Easter should not be just one day of the year that we rejoice in the cross, but really should make up our whole year in celebrating his death and resurrection. so yeah I don't get the whole bunny rabbits and egg thing. but I do understand the love.

Update on mouse

well actually it ended up being mice... I have caught and thrown away 5 mice now.... ugh! well my brother helped with one. but hopefully they are almost all gone.

I think I found the hole they were getting in too, so I need to get my brother -"Mr. Fix-it" to some and well, help fix it! :-)

As for other matters, I am still raising support. It gets hard at times, and there seem to be few people to contact, or few people that are able or interested in giving, but God surprises me every week, and really helping me to trust that it is all in his hands and not my own. I am so thankful for all the people who are so encouraging, which is almost everyone I meet with. It amazes me when people praise what I am doing. I don't think it's all that big of a deal most of the time, just that I am following the lord's call on my life, but really when I think about it, it has taken some HUGE leaps of faith to get me here, and even now the lord continues to teach me new things every day.

So I just want to say thank you to all of you that the lord is using in my life to encourage me, and help me to trust God even more.

Daily I am reminded of God's faithfulness, and I can barely wrap my head around it most of the time. but as with many of the promises in the bible that God has given to his people, God has not fulfilled them over night, but has taught the people through the waiting period. and many times people had to wait decades (or centuries) for got to fulfill his promises. now I don't plan on raising support for decades or centuries, but it is a good reminder that it takes a few months. That if the Isrealites could wait a few years, surely I can wait a few months.

So I am still praying that I would have my support finished by the end of April. I am about halfway there, but like I said, God is moving in big ways, and I am finding more and more each day to be thankful for.

so thank YOU again and please pray with me that God would get me to MSU soon!!!